“Family Violence” is a topic that makes people uncomfortable.
People are uncomfortable hearing about family violence. People are uncomfortable witnessing family violence. People are uncomfortable experiencing family violence. However, being uncomfortable does not make the occurrence of family violence disappear. Family violence is an extremely complex and difficult issue to resolve.
What is family violence?
Family violence is a pattern of poor treatment by one spouse or family member against another spouse or family member. Family violence is unkind words. Family violence is hitting. Family violence is kicking. Family violence is taking the car keys or the house keys away to punish a spouse. Family violence is controlling all of the money. Family violence is putting all of the assets in one person’s name. Family violence is monitoring devices. Family violence is “just a mistake” or a “misunderstanding” that happens over and over again. Family violence is control. Family violence escalates.
People that have never experienced any form of abuse in a romantic relationship tend to become uncomfortable whenever the topic of “family violence” comes up. In hypothetical scenarios, people love to assume that if their spouse or another family member started treating them poorly, they would abruptly end the relationship and bounce. However, in most hypothetical situations, family violence is extremely easy to spot and there are resources readily available to allow the violated spouse to immediately leave the relationship.
However, real life is much messier. When people start dating, the relationship starts out fun. Everyone is having a good time and treating each other nicely. Then they mix their lives together – their stuff, their money, their family and friends. Sometimes children get thrown into the mix. With family violence, kindness slowly fades away and poor or toxic treatment increases over time. People become uncomfortable and people try and hide it to prevent other people from being uncomfortable. Eventually, hiding family violence becomes a full-time job. People experiencing family violence usually just want the poor treatment to stop without ending the relationship. Other people can struggle to understand that.
Want to escape family violence?
Family violence can become so uncomfortable or so unsafe that people are desperately looking for a way out. It is not always easy to find a way out. It takes courage to escape family violence. It takes plan. It takes resources. It takes non-judgmental and unconditional support. It takes people willing to be vulnerable and willing to open up and talking about family violence. It takes strong advocacy both inside and outside of the courtroom.
The Edmonton Family Network was designed to be used as a resource to anyone dealing with a difficult family situation. The Edmonton Family Network is familiar with the current limitations of the legal system and the barriers many people face trying to access and afford legal services. The Edmonton Family Network aims to educate and connect people with affordable resources and service providers that can help.
