If you are a parent with decision-making responsibilities, you will one day need to decide if or when your child will have a cellphone, what rules will be associated with the device and who will be responsible for paying for the cellphone. If you are separated from your child’s other parent, there will be additional complexities with respect to your child’s cellphone. In co-parenting situations, a child’s cellphone can easily become a huge source of conflict between parents if they do not agree on whether the child should have the cellphone, what rules should be associated with the device and who should be responsible for paying for the child’s cellphone.
As a parent, you are welcome to make decisions for your child during your parenting time unless a court order states otherwise. Providing your child with a cellphone is a decision that you may be at liberty to make for your child. However, providing your child with a cellphone is not a decision that you should make without consulting with your co-parent in advance. A cellphone is a big responsibility for your child that can significantly affect your child’s safety and well-being. The cellphone should have parental controls and firm rules with respect to the device that should ideally be the same at all times regardless of the parenting schedule.
What can you expect if you give your child a cellphone?
If you do not get along very well with your co-parent, you can expect your decision to give your child a cellphone to create disharmony even if it was discussed in advance. There are many parenting issues that can arise when a child with separated parents is given a cellphone, including but not limited to:
- when the child may have the cellphone in their possession;
- who the child may contact using the cellphone and when;
- how much time the child may spend using the cellphone per day;
- which apps may be download and when or how often the apps may be used;
- GSP monitoring of the cellphone outside of the paying parent’s parenting time;
- who may read the child’s text message history and when;
- who should pay for the cellphone bill each month; and,
- who is responsible for replacement costs if the device is lost or damaged.
If your co-parent does not agree with your decision to give your child a cellphone, your co-parent may take away the cellphone from your child during their parenting time unless a court order states otherwise. Your co-parent may deliberately take steps to limit or prevent your child from using the cellphone to communicate with you during their parenting time even if your co-parent benefits from using your child’s cellphone to communicate with your child during your parenting time. Your child’s cellphone has the potential to become a huge power struggle that may require court intervention to overcome.
Who is responsible for paying for the cellphone?
If you provide your child with a cellphone, you should expect to be responsible for paying for the cellphone plan unless your co-parent has offered or agreed to contribute to the expense. Your child’s cellphone is not automatically a section 7 expense even if both parent’s benefit from your child’s cellphone. As an example:
In the decision of Tapuska v. Tapuska, 2009 ABQB 655, the Honourable Justice C. L. Kennedy heard a case where the mother sought to have her 13-year-old daughter’s cellphone set as a section 7 expense. Justice Kennedy declined to make the father contribute to the bill because cellphones are not by definition section 7 expenses.
This is a common outcome unless there are unique circumstances which makes your child’s cellphone a necessity and not just a luxury item for your child. If you have questions regarding if your circumstances would be an exception, you must speak to a lawyer for legal advice.
What should you take from this?
A child’s cellphone is a reliable source of conflict in co-parenting situations. Parents often disagree on who should pay the bill, who should pay to replace the phone if it is lost, stolen or broken, when the child should have access to the device, how much time the child should be allowed to spend on the device, etc. When these disagreements arise, many parents will use the device to retaliate against each other. A parent may establish rules for devices that are extremely restrictive to try and limit the child’s ability to communicate with the other parent during their parenting time. A parent may take away the device or take other steps to interfere with the child’s ability to use the device or communicate with their other parent or anyone else. Text messages might be deleted, phone numbers might be blocked, and tablets or iPods might be left without internet access for the sole purpose of preventing the child from being able to communicate with their other parent.
In most situations, it is in the child’s best interest to be able to communicate with either parent regardless of the parenting schedule. As a parent, you should encourage your child to communicate with your child’s other parent even if the child’s other parent does not do the same. In other words, your ability to be a good parent should not be based on the quality of the parenting decisions made by your child’s other parent. All children deserve at least one parent that will do what is best for them unconditionally.
The Edmonton Family Network was designed to be used as a resource to anyone dealing with a difficult family situation. The Edmonton Family Network is familiar with the current limitations of the legal system and the barriers many people face trying to access and afford legal services. The Edmonton Family Network aims to educate and connect people with affordable resources and service providers that can help.
