Pirates & Homewreckers

He Won’t Leave His Wife For Her.

People that cheat in their personal relationships tend to have significant interpersonal issues and a false sense of importance. A spouse that cheats on their significant other will sometimes compare their fling to their partner, and their fling will somehow be better. Cheating is sometimes explained away as the “right person at the wrong time” or “just meant to happen” type bologna. However, here’s the thing, one spouse is probably not going to leave their significant other, and the other is probably too insecure to realize that they’re being used. Here’s the other thing, he might treat her well in general, but being treated well is not the same as being valued.  Being liked is not the same thing as being respected. 

People lie.

It’s easy to pretend to be nice for a short period of time, from time to time, and anyone can say “I love you” without meaning it. It’s easy to lie and it’s easy to cheat. Any old loser pirate with a computer, internet access and nothing better to do can drop a DM. It doesn’t take much work to catch the attention of someone insecure online, whether they’re in a serious relationship or not.

Dropping compliments and being consistent in sending messages, over a period of time, is usually all that it takes to swoop in, make a move and do the deed. 

With a little luck, and a few lies here and there, a cheater might even get to make a holiday out of it.

Unfortunately, once the deed is done, the pirate probably won’t stick around beyond the holiday and its unlikely that he’ll do half, if any, of the stuff that was promised. 

Leave his wife? 

That’s a two-year plan. 

He wants to leave when the child is an adult. 

He just doesn’t have the money right now. 

Now is just not a good time to file for a divorce. But soon.

There will always be some kind of obstacle that stands in the way. Those nice words and excuses are easy to fake. It’s a lot harder to fake integrity which is usually missing when infidelity is a factor in any relationship.

If words don’t match the actions: someone got played. A person that confesses to being in love but married to the wrong person wouldn’t take much time to sort it out. People leave the wrong person to be with the right one. People that want “true love” don’t make it wait on the sidelines for six years first and they don’t remain in their current relationship to milk it for all that it’s worth first.

What if there is a breakup?

Feelings get hurt and people lose trust when they find out that their spouse has been unfaithful to them. People don’t like getting cheated on. Some people aren’t willing or able to forgive and forget. It’s often enough to shut down a relationship and breakdown a marriage.

If the cheated spouse leaves, or the unfaithful spouse breaks the relationship off, it might open the door for the cheater and the side piece to finally be together by starting their relationship on the ruins of the old one. 

The relationship might flourish.

However, it’s probably important to keep expectations realistic and not to expect an unfaithful spouse to suddenly develop integrity in their new relationship.

As for the looming separation and divorce, people that lie during their significant relationships will probably lie during their separation and court proceedings. People that broke the core rules in one of their most significant relationships will probably not develop a conscious and start playing by the rules in court.

When things finally do fall apart because of infidelity, things become pretty nasty. There might be ultimatums, games, and someone acting like a victim. The most important thing anyone can do in these situations is to seek experienced legal advice. It’s also equally as important to address mental and emotional health before signing a legally binding contract or filing a court application.

Edmonton Family Network has connections to legal service providers and community support services. Contact us to learn more.

Related Posts